I feel like I’m drowning.

I was asleep on the couch, feeling under the weather with congestion and a headache when it started. I heard a sharp noise in my sleep and my sister in law say “that didn’t sound good.”

When I opened my eyes, there was water coming out of the light switch and outlet on our apartment wall. I was instantly wide awake and yelling for my husband.

Within 30 seconds the water was pouring out of our wall. The pressure broke through the base board and quickly worked its way up the sheetrock. My mental conversation shifted from “not the rug!!!” to realizing our entire living room floor was underwater, and that we could not stop the rushing waterfall entering our home.

We quickly directed our younger siblings/in-laws to the car with all their belongings; we just wanted them safe and far away from this nightmare. Britt acted quickly and moved items off the floor, trying to save as much as we could. I was honestly just scared and overwhelmed and let my sweet husband lead the way because I couldn’t think.

Britt ran to find our apartment offices to tell them to shut the water off, and then we made the decision to call 911, seeing that we needed help that we couldn’t seem to find.

“911. Where is your emergency?” Of course, under the pressure and urgency of the situation, I could not even remember where we LIVED. I was so frazzled. I spit out our address after some stuttering and contemplation. Thankfully, it ended up being the right decision to call the police, as we soon found out that the burst was a fire sprinkler pipe set on an exterior wall next to our patio; an unavoidable, unstoppable flood without the fire department.

We watched a flood of water come into our home for 20-25 minutes before it was shut off. It was surreal having 3 inches of standing water in our FOURTH floor apartment. We spent the next hour sweeping water out the door and collecting our things. We had to throw travel bags together to leave and beat sundown since Texas was still a frozen tundra outside and we needed to make a safe exit to my parent’s house.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).
That verse was running through my head during the flooding.
Sometimes sounding more like “yeah, God took away all right.”

But you know what? I am GLAD that God allowed us to experience this loss because he is using it to sanctify me. To gently, yet abruptly, remind me that HE IS THE GOAL and that I am so so quick to make everything but Him my goal.

Megan, you can make a pretty home, but how’s your heart?
Megan, is your hope in Me or is it in your stuff?
Do you trust that I am still good even in this?

As Britt and I watched our “stuff” get destroyed by a broken pipe, we stood with each other and both said “it’s just stuff.” Painful to watch, painful to let go, but still “just stuff.”

In that moment, God graciously reminded us that this earth is NOT our home. He reminded us that treasures on earth are fleeting; creating the perfect home with the perfect stuff is a dying pursuit and in an instant, it can all disappear.

Instead, we are called to store up for ourselves treasures in Heaven, where they cannot be destroyed or stolen (Matthew 6:19-20). We are to pursue a life of godliness and a life that displays Him best, where we lay our treasures down at the feet of our King.

My beautiful Amazon rug that drowned in my living room last week does not display God best. Can I enjoy that rug and the many laughs and fellowship that took place in that bright room on that rug? Absolutely! The Lord gave that to us!

But can I, more importantly, worship God with open hands, holding to my possessions LOOSELY so that I can fall in line with His Will, even, no, ESPECIALLY in the moments of loss? That is a question we must all ask ourselves.

We praise God that our losses were minimal, with the exception of our rugs, a little bit of furniture, and a few appliances at the bottom of the pantry. We saved most of our things, and even ended up gaining some advantages from this seemingly big hole in the road. But God took just enough to call us back into Himself.

God has been and will be put more on display in this storm than he was two weeks before (NOT because he changed in the slightest, but because we needed a circumstantial adjustment to make way for His glory to be seen and easily spoken about). I needed God to humble me, to take away some idolatry and materialism, and bluntly show me some tough love so that I do not fall into the patterns of this world, but am rather transformed, renewing my mind in Him.

So when I started writing this blog post, I felt like I was drowning. I currently have one full time and two part time jobs, a flooded apartment, and a schedule spread THIN. This week I have been running on fumes trying to give my best to 3 jobs that seem to demand from me more than I have to give.

But after writing this blog post, I know I am drowning in God’s grace, drowning in his forgiveness, and drowning in His mercies that are new every morning; GREAT is His faithfulness.

Father, forgive me for being unfaithful and easily turned by the world. Keep me close to your heart. Let me desire the things of You most. Sin has no power over me because I am yours, teach me how to live this out. -Amen.

****Note: the featured image was taken as Britt & I left our
apartment after the flooding. He seems calm and collected.
I seem not so calm…Take that where you want.

****we have ALL that we need and have been so blessed by my
parents who are letting us live with them until we move in May
& had renter’s insurance that should cover the FEW losses we had. 🙂