When I was little, my dad offered both my brother and I a fancy little business folder. He had one with him, but the other was back at the office. Little me was so eager to get my greedy little hands on that folder!! I just HAD to have it…right then. So my dad gave it to me, and I happily skipped off as my brother had to wait for the other one. A couple days later, my dad came home with Evan’s folder. It was way cooler than mine. It had more pockets and was bigger. When my dad handed it to my brother he looked at me and said something along the lines of “see what would have happened if you waited?”

WAIT. I don’t like that word…I really don’t like that word.

My lack of patience is something God has been revealing to me more and more as I get older. I really embrace what I call “the microwave mentality.” When I see something good, something filling, something loving; when I have a dream, a desire, a vision, I want it right then. Waiting seems silly when we’ve been trained that just one click provides exactly what we want when we want it. 2 day delivery, “buy in one click”, lose the weight with one pill. Our world is telling us we need more, more, more, faster, quicker, better.

And we’re listening…I’m listening.

Recently, God told me I had to wait. Pretty bluntly actually, and I didn’t appreciate it. In fact, it made me angry. Why in the world would God want me to wait for something that seemed so wonderful? I’ll spare you the details, but long story short, I felt as though God was holding out on me. I knew he said he had my best interest in mind (Jeremiah 29:11), that he will provide and that he blesses abundantly (2 Cor. 9:8) but in that moment, God seemed far, and very unfair. I felt as though I knew better and that He was wrong to withhold this blessing from me.

In that moment, I doubted God. I knew he was trustworthy in general, but I questioned if I could trust him in the details (Lysa TerKeurst talks about this in her Trustworthy study).  His will seemed so out of reach from what was immediately in front of me, and it seemed contradictory. With an eye roll and a spirit of obligation, I decided I was going to be obedient and wait like I was told. But my heart, obviously, was wayyy out of line. My actions submitted, but only begrudgingly. 

Well, after I processed all these negative emotions and took a step back, the Holy Spirit prompted a thought (praise God for holy conviction!). He reminded me that God is GOOD (Psalm 145:9) and he NEVER holds out on his children. Absolutely not. God is not withholding something good from me (Psalm 23:1, Psalm 34:10), instead, he is teaching me to accept what is good in the proper timing (Ecclesiastes 3). And if that timing is not now, then I have to trust that his timing is BETTER. That the wait will bring far more blessing than I can see in this moment, because I know he is faithful.

Have you been there? Do you feel like God is holding out on you?
Do you feel like God is keeping something good from you?
Does God seem distant in your current struggle, in your current pain?
How about in the current state of our world?

We want to see healing from this virus. We want to see our friends again, we want to see God come through in this massive pandemic, and those are GOOD desires, and those are things we should consistently seek the Lord for in prayer. But we must remember that just because we cannot see what God is doing and how he is working through our waiting, does NOT mean he is any less faithful or any less trustworthy.

We have to trust the character of God more than we trust the immediacy of our surrounding circumstances. God is STILL GOOD in the midst of this virus. He is STILL FAITHFUL in the presence of illness. He is STILL WITH US while we social distance. But we have to walk by faith knowing that even if our situation does not (from our limited perspective) reflect the character of God, we still trust Him. (Think of Abraham about to sacrifice, his son, Isaac, think of Moses wandering in the wilderness!).

But beyond that, we must return to the truth that GOD HIMSELF is the goal. We must want GOD more than we want his provision. We have to desire the Healer, more than the healing (Song: “More than Anything” by Natalie Grant); and in HIS timing, in His good and perfect timing, we will see healing. We will see restoration, we will see redemption. Because that is who He is!!! Do you trust Him?