This is a conversation that needs to be had. Its one of those awkward family meetings that no one wants to start, but that everyone knows is necessary. In our day and age, we are surrounded by a sexualized culture. It is central in every form of media, common in conversation, and impossible to avoid. Women think they are only valued by their outward appearance, or if they dress to impress. Men are taught that they need their physical desires met, NOW. The question of sexual identity is rampant among teens and even encouraged. Pornography is at the fingertips of every individual with internet access, and it has even become a source of humor in television, something that is expected of men. Friends, this is not the way things should be. These are all heightened aspects of the fall, of living in a sinful world. And unfortunately, we have all experienced sexual sin in one form or another, whether it be someone else using us, or, even more often, us falling prey to the temptations the devil places before us.

It is heart breaking to think that the MAJORITY of people, the majority of CHRISTIANS, have dealt, or are dealing with sexual sin in their personal life. But it is true. None of us are perfect, and we all have sin in this area.

As Christians, these actions are the most embarrassing, and are often seen as the biggest sins, the ones we don’t discuss. Now, don’t mishear me, there should be guilt for these mistakes. If we confidently share sin, it would seem as if we are okay with it (which happens in many shortcomings in Christian circles, but that is another conversation). But sexual sin is not okay. It does not represent Christ or show his transforming work in our lives. It does not glorify the Father and it is not how things should be. We should feel a sense of remorse, of guilt, of disappointment for our mistakes. That is the power of the Holy Spirit working in you to convict you of sin and draw you back to your Heavenly Father!!! That is the beginning of repentance, as God reveals our sin to us and then offers us the opportunity to make that 180 spin through our Savior. It is an incredible thing, experiencing grace where you need it most.

But the part that is most heartbreaking, the part that needs to be addressed is when that guilt turns into condemnation and shame. And THAT is the lie that Satan wants to hold us in. Rather than being confident and experiencing FREEDOM from our sin in Christ, Satan wants us to sit in the darkness, feeling unloved, unwanted, and broken. Satan wants our sin to push us further and further from God, to make us think we are unforgivable. NEWS FLASH: THIS IS NOT FROM GOD. The second that guilt turns to condemnation, you can KNOW that the devil is lying to your face, and you are listening!! Romans 8:1 says there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!!! (And I am forever thankful that I memorized this in the sixth grade, shout out to Mrs. Rhodes). NO condemnation people! Guilt that leads to repentance, yes, but no condemnation, praise God!!! If you have repented of sin, you do not have to continue living in it. You do not have to sit in it as a punishment. Christ paid for that sin, and it is as good as gone. And today, I am encouraging you to walk in the grace God has given you. Believe the words “It is finished.” Because it is. Christ has won. And because of that, you can too.

Friends, you are not ‘damaged’ because of your past mistakes, your impure thoughts, or your question of sexual identity. You are not unlovable because of your use of pornography, your premarital sex, or lust. HEAR ME: this does not dismiss these things or make them permissible, as each is still sinful and separates us from God, hindering our relationship with each other. But it does make them FORGIVEN, covered by the blood of Jesus, if you accept his free gift of grace offered in the cross.

One of my professors today used this phrase: we are all a “work in progress.” We are saved, but we are still being sanctified and made like Jesus. This should be our focus and mindset, rather than thinking we have “arrived” and are “missing something.” The latter is the mindset of a non-believer, of one sitting in condemnation. There is the feeling of “no return” that it is “too late” and that we messed it all up. But thanks be to God, that he FIXES us through Jesus. We are washed clean from the sexual sin (or any sin for that matter) that once plagued us, and we must make the daily decision to pursue Christ in purity of heart, mind, and body. The devil will use anything to keep you from being a witness for Christ. Choose to submerge yourself in the truth and drown out the lies of condemnation. Choose freedom. Choose Christ.