After 9 long years of playing and competing in my favorite sport, my volleyball career has come to an end. It’s a bitter-sweet reality. As I walk into a new chapter of life, full of new opportunities and pursuits (graduating from college and beginning church ministry), I leave behind a part that has impacted my character, my friendships, and ultimately my direction in life. Volleyball has been the center of my schedule, my goals, my college experience and so much more for so long. And that is all coming to a close very suddenly, which brings me to my first point.

1. There is a time and a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3)

   I have avoided processing this reality because it hurts. The time has come to walk away, and I feel like I’m walking away from apart of myself. I’m leaving behind that little girl who just wanted to play! I’m leaving behind dreams (many of which came true, but some that are still in the clouds). I’m leaving behind friends who will continue playing and coaching without me. I know I am entering a stage of unknowns and change that makes me squirm. But the time has come. It is time to process, to give thanks, and to discuss the GIFT God has given me through this sport, the WISDOM he has blessed me with through the ups and downs of my career, and the LETTING GO of something that was so central from the ages of 13 to 21. And although saying goodbye is hard, it also means saying hello to so many new things, and for that I can say I am excited. Excited for all the opportunities God has laid out for me in this next season, while still reflecting on the joys from this past one.

2. Life is short
   

   This may be a given, but my college years have FLOWN by and my time on the court ended quickly. You think high school goes fast, but in comparison to college, high school was forever long. And those ahead of me say life continues to speed up. God is teaching me to value, to treasure, and to give thanks for the moments he gives me. Don’t take opportunities and experiences for granted. I hate looking back and realizing what a gift I had once its gone. Be thankful in the moment.

3. Redefine success
   

   This was a hard one for me. Every career comes with ups and downs, wins and losses. I wanted to win SO BAD. I had put everything into this sport for so so long. And we had an incredible team for most of my years at JBU, especially this last year. It tore me up inside to watch us enter a season with so much potential and then lose when it counted. I spent so much time pondering “what is wrong?” “why is this happening?” “What can I change?” And although these questions can be good and healthy in seeking improvement, it consumed me. It was in this process that my sweet mentor asked me to redefine success. How can I leave my senior year with confidence, with peace, with a smile, no matter the W/L record? I came to the conclusion that, as much as I wanted to go to nationals, as much as I wanted to end my senior year with a BANG, this should not be my sole vision of success. So I took a look at the bigger picture and decided Christ is the goal. Success looks like changing the culture of a program so that Christ is central, in every respect. Success looks like pouring into underclassmen so that they can, in due time, do the same to those who follow them. Success looks like giving my best, play or benched, win or lose. Success looks like growing closer to my Savior through the difficulties that come with athletics. Where do you need to take a step back and find the bigger picture, the bigger purpose, for what you are doing? This leads the way for point 4:

4. Leave a legacy (beyond yourself)
   

   In whatever you are doing, whatever job you have, the goal should always be beyond yourself. Seek to leave a legacy, set a tone, change the culture, make an impact that will last well beyond your time there. God taught me the importance of leaving an impact, a fingerprint, a touch. In redefining success, he reminded me of the importance of leaving a legacy. I cannot speak to what will stick once I graduate or what will continue to be the focus for years to come, but I trust that God used our senior class to leave something new in JBU volleyball, something different. To raise the level of accountability, trust, and relationships. We challenged the process and sought improvement that will hopefully continue for years to come. This life is bigger than just us, so what are you leaving behind?

5. It’s not about ME
   

   As a college athlete, its easy to make the story about me. MY success, MY awards, MY playing time, MY game, MY senior night, ME ME ME. But if God taught me anything at all, its that this game is NOT about me. This season in my life has been all about Him. He has been growing me, refining me, and sanctifying me for HIS glory. He has taught me the importance of just BEING. Being there for my teammates, being an encourager and uplifter to my sweet freshmen, and being a light that reflects Him, whether things go my way or not. Volleyball is so much more than a sport. This game is so much bigger than me. I had to learn to look beyond myself and see how God could use me to touch the lives of others. 

6. Release Unreached Expectations
   

   This was a big one. I wish I had learned it sooner, as, looking back, I know God was prompting this lesson for a long time. But I am thankful for God’s revelation, for the people he used to pour into me, and for his perfect timing. God taught me to let go of the pressures I had put on myself. I wanted to be the all-star senior. I wanted to be the most impactful player on the court, but God had others plans. He chose to grow me spiritually, rather than grow my ego. And to play with FREEDOM and to really enjoy my senior season, I had to fully release those pressures. I had to decide that I was okay not being #1, and that I was still an important part of our team despite not having the “superstar” title. My success on the court did not define my WORTH. And once I released control and let go of those expectations, I was able to just PLAY. It was an incredible experience. It took me so long to let go of the burden of unreached expectations, but God gifted me with the fruit of that trust. STOP hindering your performance by pressuring yourself to be something you are not. Play your sport with a grateful heart, and let that joy lead to your success and growth.

7. Athletics brings life-long friendships
   

   The people I have met, connected with, and laughed with during my time on the volleyball court are too many to count. But the friends I have made, the ones that have stuck, the ones that will stick with me for years to come, have come from my time as a college athlete. There is something special about the grind we went through together: the tough days where outcomes were not in our favor, the frustrations, the tears, the pre-seasons, the lifting, the ice, the injuries, the recruits, the great days with BIG wins, the laughs, the travels, the team dinners… I have made memories I will never forget, and have teammates who will forever be apart of my life. Athletics draws people together in a unique way because each of you give blood, sweat, and tears in pursuit of the same goal. It’s incredible.

As I say goodbye to JBU Volleyball, I cannot help but say thank you. Thank you to my parents, who helped me pursue my dreams of being a college athlete. Thank you to my coaches, who God has used to challenge me in ways they will never understand. Thank you to my teammates, who have held me accountable on and off the court. But most importantly, thank you to my Heavenly Father, who has blessed me tremendously more than I deserve through my time as a college athlete.

It is a hard goodbye, but an exciting new beginning…
If you’ve read this far, know that the end of one thing is the beginning of another. Although this is a hard goodbye, its an exciting start to something NEW.