Through conversations I’ve had recently, I hear a lot of people longing for a best friend. And I’m not talking about a boyfriend/husband. I’m talking about a sister that you connect with! Someone you can confide in, feel fully accepted and loved, and walk through life with. Everyone desires this, but many people don’t have it. Maybe you’ve had that person before, but they always leave, making you feel inadequate. Maybe you try to be that person for others, but they never return the favor or notice your needs. Maybe you just don’t have anything in common with the people that surround you at work or in school. Whatever the reason, we’ve all walked through a season of loneliness, feeling as though we are missing out on something as simple (and yet, complex) as a friend.

I’VE BEEN THERE. Everyone wants that person. And sometimes we are embarrassed by that desire. We want to hide it and feel like we are okay on our own. But, it’s important to recognize: that desire is HEALTHY. We were built to be in relationships. God himself is three in one. The trinity represents an eternal unity. Therefore, it is in our very nature to desire connection. During creation, God made Adam a companion, a helper; for “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). God made us to be in community, relationship, and friendship with our fellow image bearers.

Scripture shows us more of this natural inclination. In the Old Testament, we see the value of a best friend in the relationship between David and Jonathan. We see them weep with one another (1 Samuel 20:41), encourage one another (1 Sam. 23:16-17), and protect each other (1 Sam. 18:4). They were such close friends that Scripture says their souls were knit together and they loved each other as themselves (1 Sam. 18:1). This friendship is LIFE-GIVING and healthy to seek. To some of you reading this, you have that friend (send them a text and say thank you, and thank God for them, because it is RARE). But many others of you hear this and crave it. How incredible it must be to rely on someone to the point of weeping, to be protected by a friend at their own risk, and to be encouraged and uplifted in the point of intense threat and weakness, outside of family or a spouse.

This friendship is beautiful and such a GIFT from our Heavenly Father. But unfortunately, we live in a fallen world with broken people. More often than not, we are  left hurting by those we thought would be our best friend, or, simply left hurting from the lack of friends. However, despite this truth, we must remember, a best friend IS JUST A GIFT. It is not the end goal. David and Jonathan understood this. Jonathan “helped [David] find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16). Jonathan wasn’t ultimately after keeping David as a companion, but assisting him in his pursuit of our Lord. Having a best friend will not bring you the satisfaction and security you think you need. God may use them to assist in your security, your joy, or accountability, but ultimately, God is the goal, and a best friend is simply a shadow and a reflection of the perfect relationship Christ offers us in himself.

God offers us security, satisfaction, and the deepest friendship we could ever experience, but we consistently overlook his presence and focus on our lack of people. We place unreachable expectations on the sisters around us to be everything we need, when, in reality, the only person that fulfills this is JESUS. Horizontal friendships are important, and we should pursue them and put time and energy into the people God has placed in our lives. But, in the disappointment, in the waiting, remember that HE IS THE GOAL. And you lack nothing in Him. NOTHING. Don’t lessen or question God’s goodness because he hasn’t given you a physical best friend. He is everything we need.

Will you let HIM be your best friend and secret keeper?